13 Jan 2015

wiggle wum

On one cold December morn
a worm sat in his nest of mould-io,
a tear fell from his little eye
because he was so cold-io

"O wiggle waggle wiggle wum,
I wish the warmer days would come,
the ice and snow: I wish they'd go
because I am so cold-io"

A little mole came passing by,
he said: "Step inside, I'll keep you warm,"
so he gobbled up that little worm
because he was so cold-io

I've been thinking recently about when I was very wee and my grandma used to sing me this weird song, apparently an original creation by my great-granddad. I say apparently because that's what I've always been told, but by all accounts he was a bit of a scoundrel so I wouldn't be surprised to find he'd passed off someone else's nursery rhyme as his own. For a while I would get very upset on the worm's behalf and so my grandma used to add another verse in which the worm emerges again in spring. Did the mole regurgitate him? Had the earth worm been living in the mole's small intestine for months like a tape worm? These are questions with which I was not at all concerned at the time as long as I didn't have to confront the fact that a fictional worm was dead. My mum says that she never got this consolatory extra verse when she was a kid. She just had to accept that the world is a cruel place.


Speaking of the cruel and nonsensical world in which we live, my lovely maidenhair fern is not very well at all. It's been looking peaky since early November when the lack of decent daylight hours started to take its toll. Alas, during the time I was away for Christmas it really took a turn for the dead, although after some severe pruning what's left of it looks like it might be sort of OK. Maybe if I can get it to somehow hold on until the weather gets warmer it'll stand a chance. Maybe.

For that matter, I hope I can hold on until the weather gets warmer. The next five months seem both very long and very short at the moment - long because five months is a long time to be anxious and stressed for, and short because I'm not sure five months is enough time for me to physically do everything I need to in order to, you know, graduate. I mean, it is, and I will, and I know that. I'm just doing a really good job of feeling sorry for myself.

In any case I don't have much free time these days for things like... fun, or having a life. (I don't really have time for taking poorly-focused pictures of myself looking sad with a houseplant either, but I got a remote for my camera for Christmas and I thought I should at least work out how to use it.) But it won't last forever and neither will winter, despite how it feels sometimes.

I will be warm again, I will emerge from the belly of the mole. I might be a partially digested worm when that happens, but whatever. At least I'll be an alive partially digested worm with a degree in modern European languages.

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