20 May 2014

Ida y vuelta

My year abroad is officially all finished. The passage of time proves itself once again a source of great wonderment and no small amount of anxiety to me.

About this time last year I wrote a long blog post that went on and on about my expectations for this year and blah blah blah which I promptly deleted. It's funny being on the other side of this thing now because it looked like such an enormous hurdle then and now it's like... well, here I am. And it definitely was hard-going sometimes (the public sobbing incident springs to mind) but somehow I dealt with those moments and now they're done and I feel like I could do anything right now.

This past semester has been different to the one in France in a lot of ways. I've loved living in Spain more than I thought I would what with my shitty Spanish and all, and that's something I never would have predicted before this year. Honestly, I'm not sure I would have predicted anything about this year accurately and that's partly why it was such a scary prospect. I didn't know I would have such a strong reaction to being so on my own at first, that it would take me months to fully recover from that initial shock. I didn't realise just how much I would be capable of when necessity dictated it. I didn't think a change of location would start to change the way I thought to such a startling degree. I didn't really understand the concept that learning more makes the world more complicated, not less. I definitely do now.

Tomorrow I head back to the UK where everything is expensive and my tan will rapidly fade, but I couldn't be happier. And even if it turns out I bombed every one of my exams here (very real possibility) I'll still be proud of myself. I'm going home a subtly different, and hopefully better, person than I was when I left which was the whole point of this thing after all. I think.

Edinburgh, May 2013
Alcalá de Henares, May 2014


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